It feels good to be part of a warm and loving family, to have people close to us that we can call upon as allies in times of difficulty. Finding support for a child with mental health problems is important, and using NLP therapy from a young age will help build resilience for the future.
Unfortunately, during times of stress and change, our family relationships can be tested. At the core of many disagreements, anger and resentment, we find a communication breakdown as well as a lack of self-awareness, and these are things that neuro linguistic programming techniques, that we use in NLP therapy can help with.
The Rise of Mental Health Issues
During the pandemic years we’ve saw a need for more help with anxiety, depression, and mental health disorders across the UK. According to NHS digital, 1 in 6 teens had a ‘probable mental disorder’ in the UK in 2022, and that rose to 1 in 4 for young people aged between 17 – 19 years old. Inevitably this has led to a rise in the use of pharmaceuticals, with around 25% of the adult population being prescribed a psychiatric drug each year. [1.]
But whilst there is undoubtedly a serious mental health crisis in our country today, what we now class as a mental illness was not seen as such in previous generations. During the 1970’s there were 106 registered known mental disorders, but that number has risen today to around 370. [2.]
There’s no biological way of testing for mental illness, the reason for the rise in registered disorders is due to decisions by authorities to label certain symptoms as mental illness. Things such as grief, lack of concentration at school, trauma and under-performing at work are today branded as ‘symptoms of psychiatric illness’, whereas in previous decades this would have been seen as a normal reaction based on stressors in the environment. [3.] But when we develop strategies such as NLP to help us work through our emotions, the problem is more easily resolved, and the symptom goes away, eliminating the need for pharmaceuticals.
Emotional reactions to the stressors in our daily lives are a normal human response. What many of us haven’t yet learnt is the awareness to spot the patterns and behaviours in ourselves that can sometimes make the situation worse.
How NLP Can Help
We all have difficult situations that crop up from time to time, and within a family dynamic there are different personalities spending lots of time together in close proximity. We see the best and worst of each other and it can sometimes lead to ongoing stress. Neuro linguistic programming techniques can be a great tool to help.
Communication Skills
Effective communication between families is important for harmonious relationships. NLP gives techniques that can be learnt and applied, like being fully connected, giving emotional responses and cues, and non-verbal cues like positive body language.Stress Management
NLP offers techniques for managing stress such as reducing or inoculating stressors. We can simply note down when we are emotionally triggered, and then at the end of each day decide to either:- Accept it (because it was helpful in some way).
- Avoid it in the future.
- Inoculate against the trigger, with a technique called future pacing or spinning feelings.
Improve Feelings of Empathy
Having and showing empathy for those close to us is crucial to creating close bonds. The technique ‘Perceptual Positions’ starts building empathy with others by helping you see things from another person’s point of view, helping you to communicate constructively with other people. The exercise gets you to look at your position, then that of the other person, and then a complete outsider view and observe what you have learnt.
Create a Positive Mindset Around Work and School
NLP is a great therapy for dealing with stress around work and school. It helps you build resilience by understanding how your own mind works as well as those around you. It puts you at a great advantage and can be used for certain goals like career progression and business success and can help improve exam results, which in turn will build feelings of achievement and a positive mindset. Many successful entrepreneurs are skilled in NLP, and it’s taught by many of the most famous life coaches such as Tony Robbins.Other Ways to Strengthen Family Relationships
Whether it’s adult family relationships, a spouse or parenting a teen, there will inevitably be periods in our lives that are difficult. If you have a child that’s suffering from anxiety and it’s affecting their daily life, you can feel powerless as a parent and it’s hard to know where to turn. Whatever family situation you’re dealing with, there are always immediate steps you can take to help them feel supported.
When you open a line of positive communication in a non-judgemental way then your family member knows they can come to you in the future, and it feels safe to do so.
- Be patient. Allow the other person time to speak and give them your full attention as they express their view and feelings.
- If a child wants to talk, be ready to engage. They may bring up an issue spontaneously and your response will determine if they have a positive or negative reaction and whether they come to you in the future.
- Let your child make choices for themselves if they’re old enough and show them you trust them.
- Let everyone in the family know how much you appreciate them regularly.
- Create a feeling of teamwork. Work together on chores, family tasks and decisions.
- Share stories and create memories. Children love to hear about when they were babies or when you were a child. Stories create bonds and a sense of belonging, and doing something fun together will create lasting memories.
- Sit down for a family meal in the evening and ask everyone about their day. Sharing a meal together creates and strengthens bonds between all members of the family.
[1,2,3] Sedated, 2021. Author, James Davies.